Stuff French People Like.

The whole display is a little out of my price range, so I took a photo.

1. Cursing the day Sarkozy was born. This involves both linguistic creativity and stealth, because Sarkozy has made a law forbidding people from calling him a fascist in public. The French also love blaming Americans for Sarkozy's playboy behavior. I do not understand the connection but the French seem certain of its existence.

2. Hating on Carla Bruni for having dated only powerful, beautiful men. This hatred does not extend to her music, which is widely enjoyed.

3. Modestly sized dogs with extraordinary amounts of fur. Dogs in Paris are treated as accessories, and are therefore allowed to do whatever they want, not unlike Hindu cows.

4. Jersey Shore. The obsession of French youth with Snooki is inexplicable and disgusting.

5. The elderly. There is a special line at the grocery store for disabled people and "les vieilles dames" (little old ladies).

6. Watching Americans try to figure out French sinks. I tried waving my hands under the spouts, hitting the sinks, and pleading with the Public Bathroom Gods, but nothing worked. Today I realized there are foot pedals under many French sinks, after having been snickered at and judged by French women in public bathrooms everywhere. I was pleased to discover that bathroom fixtures are not xenophobic.

7. Romain Duris. Les filles want him, les hommes want to be him.

8. The rapper Booba. A French person explained to me that "even though there are not really any gangs or anything in France, we still like to pretend we are hood."

9. Smoking. "Fumer tue" apparently means nothing to the French.

10. Oysters. Om nom nom.